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“When I forget the narrow will of self
the cosmic warmth that heralds summer’s glory
fills all my soul and spirit;
to lose myself in light
is the command of spirit vision
and intuition tells me strongly:
o lose yourself to find yourself.”
- Rudolf Steiner, The Calendar of the Soul, translated from the German by Ruth and Hans Pusch
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Oooh! I *love* this little verse! It immediately speaks to me of glorious surrender. Mmmmmmm, what a great feeling! Slipping into that light-filled space where all the love and wisdom of the cosmos reside. Being wrapped in a mantle of starry sparkles. Being aware of the breadth and depth of truth. Feeling the completeness of heavenly love. Receiving the gift willingly and fully.
Mmmmmmmmm . . . .
Yes, that *is* what surrender can be like. Beauty and peace beyond words and human expression.
However, I understand that surrender doesn’t feel like that right away. Surrender can be really scary if you haven’t done it before. It can feel like you’re standing with your back to a cliff and someone tells you to fall backwards and you’ll be caught.
What!! How is that possible!! There’s nothing there except certain death!! You scream. You clutch. You resist. (And, please know that I could easily write “I scream. I clutch. I resist.” Oh, believe me, I know this place very well.)
So, maybe you lean back just a wee bit. And, you think you’ve done it. *And*, you have! It’s a beginning. You’ve overcome some of your fear. And, you didn’t die. You didn’t perish. It wasn’t really *fun* and it certainly wasn’t *peaceful*, but you did it. And we celebrate that!
Then, you try it again when you’re ready (forgetting the narrow will of self) and you’re feeling the pull toward it (the command of spirit vision and intuition). You stand there again at the edge of the cliff, but this time you notice the gorgeous scene that surrounds you (the cosmic warmth). It’s really *beautiful* here! Yes, and imagine what you *can’t* see until you fall backwards . . .
You try again. You lean back a little more and maybe you feel that support, maybe you don’t. But, maybe this time instead of feeling dread, you feel a little exhilerated. Maybe not. Keep trying this process as you feel guided. There’s no need to push yourself or feel guilty about anything. It *will* happen when the time is right. You will release all of the fear that is holding you back, once all of it is released (yes, it’s circular because it’s circular).
Then, one glorious day, you’ll willingly, fully, Nestea plunge all the way back (losing yourself in light). Arms stretched out in full surrender! You’ll soar on the updraft. You’ll nestle into the hands of God. You’ll be surrounded by the feathers of angels’ wings.
You will lose yourself and find yourself.
And, oh, my friends, what a day that will be!
“The senses’ might grows strong
United with the gods’ creative work;
It presses down my power of thinking
Into a dreamlike dullness.
When godly being
Desires union with my soul,
Must human thinking
In quiet dream-life rest content.”
– Rudolf Steiner, The Calendar of the Soul, translated from the German by Ruth and Hans Pusch
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Mmmmmmm . . .
Just soaking this little number in . . .
Calling you to allow your mental thoughts to go into a sweet little rest while allowing your senses to heighten, your intuition to blossom.
Definitely a call to meditation. How about meditating in a sunbeam? How about in a moonbeam? How about in front of a campfire? Or while gazing at a candle? Or while petting the cat? Or rocking a baby? Or running your fingers through the grass? Or someone’s hair? Or while floating in the pool? Or the bathtub? Or while scrunching your toes in the sand? Or squishing your fingers in a ball of wet clay?
How can you begin to move into feeling-ness instead of thinking-ness?
Mmmmm . . . Of course, I choose yoga! 
Set aside thinking for a little bit and begin to feel all there is to feel.
“My self is threatening to fly forth,
Lured strongly by the world’s enticing light.
Come forth, prophetic feeling,
Take up with strength your rightful task:
Replace in me the power of thought
Which in the senses’ glory
Would gladly lose itself.”
Taken from The Calendar of the Soul by Rudolf Steiner, translated from the German by Ruth and Hans Pusch
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Find your inner voice! Trust your intuition! Let your higher self guide you! Let the gaining light and warmth of the nearing summer bring out your own inner light and inner fire of passion. Let what you know to be true, deep within yourself, guide you to find your soul’s and life’s purpose. Let go of some of the analytical thinking in favor of what your heart is telling you. What feels “right”?
As always, I’m no anthroposophical teacher (not even a very long-term student), but I get a “feeling” from these little verses. They’re so pretty!
Love to you! Blessings from above and from deep within.
“There has arisen from its narrow limits
My self and finds itself
As revelation of all worlds
Within the sway of time and space;
The world, as archetype divine,
Displays to me at every turn
The truth of my own likeness.”
– Taken from The Calendar of The Soul, by Rudolf Steiner. Translated from the German by Ruth and Hans Pusch
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Always beginning with my disclosure of not being a long-time student or expert in Anthroposophy . . .
This little verse is pretty, I think. It speaks to me of the expansion of our awareness of ourselves. Our spirit’s swelling and filling within us. Our realization of our limitless natures.
As we begin to honor and love our selves, we begin to honor and love others. Other people, the animal kingdom, the plant kingdom, Mother Earth, the sun and moon and cosmos. We begin to see ourselves reflected in all other aspects of creation.
We begin to notice those rhythmic movements within ourselves mirrored in the rising and setting of the sun, the phases of the moon, the changing of the seasons. We start to feel the times of warmth and of cold. The times of wetness and dryness. The times of death and rebirth. We begin to see that the mysteries of our inner life are reflected in the world around us.
There are great clues for us. Clues about how to love . . . how to surrender . . . how to grow . . . how to play . . . how to sing . . . how to dance . . .
Open yourself up to yourself — and then to your world around you. And, see what you can see!
The magnolias are in bloom here in Memphis! [deep breath, as if I can smell them here in front of my computer screen in the office -- I wish!] They really are magnificent blooms. They’re HUGE and rugged and they smell divine! My little one said, “Mommy, you should make perfume out of this.” She’s right.
Can I see myself in the magnolia? The tree is an evergreen with large, glossy, dark green leaves. This time of year they bloom and then leave behind very cool-looking woody cones. I just found out that the blossoms are not pollinated by bees or butterflies, but rather by beetles (beetles as totem animals assist with resurrection and transformation).
I think it’s especially interesting that although the tree does not itself follow the cycle of “death” and rebirth like deciduous trees do, it’s flowers and fruit are pollinated and assisted by a totem animal of resurrection. I like this! Can we begin to see how death and rebirth may be an inner experience rather than an outer experience sometimes — and that the gift of this process is something that smells so sweet and looks so beautiful?
Thank you, Rudolf Steiner, and thank you, Magnolia Tree, for your messages today. I carry you both in my heart and in my awareness today . . .
“Within the light that out of spirit depths
Weaves germinating power into space
And manifests the gods’ creative work:
Within its shine, the soul’s true being
Is widened into worldwide life
And resurrected
From narrow selfhood’s inner power.”
– The Calendar of the Soul, Rudolf Steiner, translated from the German by Ruth and Hans Pusch.
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Like I said last week, I’m no expert at Anthroposophy, but I’m always stirred by these little meditations.
This week’s message reminds me of a meditation that I did this weekend. It was an image of the central nervous system glowing in yellow light, surrounded by brilliant white light, then surrounded by the depth of the Void.
As the attention moves to the glowing and takes in the fullness of the beauty of the central nervous system (that place within us that holds all memories, beliefs, expectations, emotions, thoughts, etc.) we begin to find our attention resting at heart center. There, in the center of our energetic being, beats the rosy-pink life force. Our heart.
We notice the pulsing. The life. The rhythm. Our attention becomes fixated on this life force within us. The energy then moves out of the heart, into both of our shoulders, down our arms and out our hands, stretching out and expanding in its reach — far and wide.
The energy, the light, our life force, then moves up and out in all directions. Out of the atmosphere and into space where it circles the earth in all directions. It meets back at the North Star where it joins with itself in a brilliant light ball. Out of the ball of brilliant light streak many star beams of brilliant, silvery white light, reaching all corners of the universe.
One light beam flows directly back into our crown chakra and fills us with its brilliant, pure light energy. As it reaches our heart center, that rosy-pink space within us begins to glow brighter and expands to twice its size. As does the soft yellow light of our central nervous system.
As we notice the expansion of our inner experience and truth, the energy once again forcefully moves out of our heart center, through our arms and out our hands. Once again it arcs out and around the earth, this time meeting at the south star where once again it creates a star of intense brilliance and clarity. Once again this star bursts forth in glorious light, reaching all parts of the universe.
One of the star beams once again comes straight toward us an enters our crown chakra. This time it moves all the way down our central nervous system, down our legs and through our feet, where it moves straight to the very center of the earth, grounding us to the Mother.
We find ourselves firmly grounded to the earth, becoming one with it, while maintaining the brilliant, purity of the light of the heavens.
We are reminded of our creative brilliance, our infinite potential as it manifests itself as a joining of the earthly with the heavenly. We become firmly connected with both planes — the divine and the mundane.
As we stretch out our arms and hands in a gesture of sharing and generocity, we literally encompass the whole world in the gesture. We touch all.
The vibrations of that generocity then ripple out throughout the world, circling it and moving out into space where it is intensified and purified and then returned to us in a way that doubles us.
Friends, this is Truth. This is a quiet, yet profound truth of how our sharing comes back to us two-fold. It is an image of our reach. Our influence. Our place in the cosmos.
We are not insignificant. We are lit by the stars of heaven. Shine, my friends!
I sense a kindred nature to my own:
Thus speaks perceptive feeling
As in the sun-illumined world
It merges with the floods of light;
To thinking’s clarity
My feeling would give warmth
And firmly bind as one
The human being and the world.
Taken from The Calendar of The Soul by Rudolf Steiner, translated by Ruth and Hans Pusch
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To me, this is a message of grounding ourselves firmly within our human form and within the arms of the Great Mother. Allow our thinking to glow in wisdom, to pull in elements of our emotions and to begin to feel the connection between ourselves and this place.
We must always be working from a double view — one view of the spiritual self and one view from our incarnated self. One of Doreen Virtue’s oracle cards reads something like: Ground Yourself. Although it’s pleasant to drift heavenward, your work and presence is needed here on earth.
Now that the earth is warming up (for those of us in the northern hemisphere, anyway), we can begin to walk barefoot, feeling the subtle textures of the earth under our feet. We can touch and smell the blossoms and emerging leaves.
I even picked strawberries from the field the other day. The color, the fragrance and the texture of those gorgeous berries kept me moving through the rows, picking more and more. I ended up taking home eight pounds! We were eating strawberries for days! We all loved them. To be so closely connected with the source of our food is a great way to feel grounded.
I am no expert in Anthroposophy, but I like the challenge of Steiner’s meditations. I like the stirring in my soul as I try to focus my mind enough to bring the words into my heart.
I’ll post Steiner’s weekly verses. Let me know what you think. They follow the rhythm of the seasons and festivals.
