I decided to dust off my copy of The Celestine Prophesy, which I read about 5 or 6 years ago.  It’s such a good book — highly recommended if you haven’t already read it.

I have found the “insights” listed to be quite accurate.  At least, they seem to track with my personal experience.

Right now I’m at the part in the book which talks about “control dramas”, which are methods we all use to try to capture someone else’s energy.  James Redfield lists four types:  intimidator, interrogator, aloof and poor-me.  I’m looking deeply at this now to see what I can learn about myself in this case.  Realizing that we all use all of the types at different times, yet generally tend to use one more often than the others . . . I would say in general I’m an aloof.

Out of fear, I often say much less than I’d like to.  I’m worried that what I say might be judged or rejected.  I often miss opportunities to be of service or to share myself with others.  There are also times, especially during a conflict, I move into interrogator mode.  I ask a bunch of questions, while looking for something to criticize.

Eeuuwww . . .  ick.

Tough ego stuff.  And . . . good to know.

I was just at a gathering the other day where I was feeling a little unsure of myself.  What would be expected of me?  What would people think of me?  How much of myself should I share for fear of being judged?  I can see now that although I was very open and free with many facets of myself that day, there were a number of aspects of myself that I did not reveal in the least (especially aspects of my spiritual beliefs or my energy healing and angel work).

Now, of course, some of that is common sense — you’re not going to be inappropriate.  There are times and places for everything.  And, this wasn’t a group whose purpose was about spiritual path and enlightenment.  It was just lunch.

But, I can feel some anxiety about sharing too much anyway.  My fear is ego-based.  It’s not the best of me.  It’s not the truth of me.

The way to work this out is to meditate.  To bring more of God’s energy to me by opening up to it.  My fear keeps me closed off to others and to the divine.  I’ll be meditating and opening up my receptivity and expanding the God-love that I feel.  And I’ll feel wonderful.

And, the angels will then remind me that I can’t do anything wrong by offering my truth to other people.  Nothing can harm me.  And in the process of being my most authentic self — without fear — I may be offering something of great value to others without even realizing it.  They will remind me that I don’t need to chirp on, talking nonsense, in order to create a smoke screen so that people can’t see the “real” me. 

I can speak truth.  I can be gentleness.  I can exude love, grace and wisdom . . . even without saying a word. 

And, best yet, if I let my fear subside I’ll be able to tap into my inner guidance and wisdom — given by grace by the great spirit of the divine — and then my words will have even greater impact and healing potential.

Identify and let go of your “control dramas” — clear and heal your energy.  Be love and be yourSelf — your true Self.