Blessings of the season to you! 

I was talking to a yoga student / friend today about her yoga practice and the fact that she’s getting frustrated because she wants to be making more progress on her postures.  She wants to get her body to do stuff that she sees other people doing. 

I understand her frustration.  There are a few yoga postures that I want so badly to do.  My mind can visualize myself doing them and feeling great doing them.  But, my physical body just won’t or can’t go there right now.

Patience.

Persistance.

Dedication.

Yoga’s just different from other types of physical exercise.  We’ve spent years getting ourselves tight in those spots, holding onto resistance, cementing in some of that tight stuff to the point where those places have almost lost feeling completely. 

And, yet, that stuff is mostly not physical anyway.

In my case, I’m working on releasing some tension in my back, right behind my heart.  Right where my wings would be, if I had them.  When my yoga teacher put her hand there and said I needed to relax there, I could barely feel anything.  I cannot tell how to release and relax there because I can’t feel anything there.  I don’t seem to have any mental power there.

That’s when I know it’s not physical releasing that I need to do.  There’s stuck energy there.  And, it’s right behind my heart. 

I meditated on that last night.  What’s in there??  What kind of stuff is stuck in there?  What old, old, old stuff is there that’s making itself known to me now so that I can release it?

I can tell there’s old pain, regret, grudges and conflict stuffed in there — like into the back corners of my heart.  Deep old pains.  Icky guilt and grief.  Pain that I stuffed back there in the past because I didn’t have the tools to address it. 

It’s going to take some courage, I think, to sort it out.  It might not be fun or pretty.  It might bring up some stuff I had long forgotten about and really don’t want to remember . . . but I’m going there.  I go bravely forward, holding my little light of heaven to lead the way, knowing that my angels “have my back” and will protect me from whatever I fear.

And, in the meantime, I have patience with my yoga practice.  I keep visualizing Eka Pada Rajakapotasana — King Pigeon.  I keep trying it.  I keep moving toward it.  I stay patient.  I stick with it. 

And, when I finally do the posture, I will have gained so much more than just the physical expression of a cool yoga move.  I’ll have gained healing and release.  Freedom from that which binds me to the past. 

Namaste, friends!

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