I was asked the other day what I mean when I say I love you.  Granted most people don’t walk around telling each other they love them unless they know each other pretty well — that would be kind of weird.  It would give people the wrong idea, maybe.  I’ve gotten more and more comfortable telling people I love them because I feel it.  I don’t say it to many men, I guess, but I do say it to plenty of women and to many of my clients — especially those I’ve worked with for some time.

I do love them.  I just do — why not say it?

But, what is not love?

Love is not lust.

Love is not desire.

Love is not capturing someone.

Love is not manipulating someone.

Love is not expectations.

Love is not co-dependency.

Love is not suffering.

Love is not infatuation.

Love is not obsession.

Love is not agony.

Love is not anger.

Love is not jealousy.

Love is not grumpy.

Love is not playing games.

Love is not fear.

Love is not lies.

Love is not guilt.

Love is not obligation.

Love is not drama.

You’ve got to begin to see the difference.  Love is love.  Forgiveness is forgiveness.  The other stuff is what it is.  You may feel desire for someone you love, but the two things are different.  You can love someone without desiring them.  You can love without jealousy.  You can love without guilt. 

Can you see the subtle differences and how our life experience teaches us to link together love with things that are not love? 

No judgement . . . it’s just that you can simply love someone and that can be that.  If in the past you’ve loved someone and they said they loved you too and yet manipulated you and you felt anguish, you might link “love” with “manipulation” and “anguish” and begin to believe (and experience) that love *is* manipulation and anguish.  But it isn’t.

Love is love.

Once you can feel love . . . simple, profound love (first for the divine and from the divine and then for yourself and from yourself), it becomes very easy to share that with other people.

Again, don’t be weird about it . . . be “normal” (whatever that means) about it. 

But, if I say I love you.   I do.  That’s it.  And, that’s true.