Hi!  Wow, it’s been a very long time since I’ve sat down here at my computer and shared some thoughts.  Not all of my thoughts have been worth sharing this year…

It’s been an intense year for me, one where I’ve disassembled parts of myself one layer at a time.  It’s been painful and difficult, but ultimately rewarding.  I found that parts of myself — some pretty cool parts of myself — were deeply hidden away and wanted to come back out.  That was tough to do because some grime had settled over the top and the grime was icky and scary.

But, I put on my big girl panties and got to it.  I had some amazing support and help too — some dear friends who I love in the purest and most expansive way.  They shined a light in the dark places and I cleaned up the mess.  They encouraged me to keep going and they pointed out the places that I missed.

At times I was tempted to just blow the whole thing up, but that’s not my style.  I won’t even jump straight into the pool or lake — I need to wade in slowly (sometimes painfully slowly…).  That’s just the way I am.  So the dismantling took a lot of time.  One layer at a time.  Agonizing, but thorough… and no shrapnel to deal with later.

There were times that I thought I was done!  Hooray!  And, then realized I wasn’t…

The layers of grime were pretty stubborn at places — a lot of it was my stuff.  A lot of it was other people’s stuff that I allowed in.  I worked a lot on reframing my beliefs and expectations, reviewing and releasing the past, cleaning up memories and forgiving myself and others.

I feel like I’ve been dragged through the mud — my own mud.  Dragged by my own self.

And, I feel like I’m nearly done (at least I hope so!) and I’m ready to emerge into the light again.

So I’d like to offer some soft light here on my blog again.

If you feel like you’re being dragged through the mud right now, let me offer you my hand.  Let me offer you a hug.  Let me offer you love and encouragement.  You CAN do this.  You WILL succeed.  You ARE worthy of your goal.  And, you ARE loved.

Keep going!  And if I can help, please just ask.  Look for me on Facebook if you like — Laura Watson

Blessings and love!

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