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A question from a reader:  “Why do people feel they need to suffer so much?  Some people seem to hold the belief that if they’re not suffering each day, they’re not doing something right.  Why?”

When I begin working on this issue from an energetic perspective, all kinds of interesting things come up to be corrected and healed.  A big one is the false belief that the more you suffer, the more spiritual you are.  There are often religious and collective consciousness beliefs to be cleared.

Another big one can be past life karma.  For example, in a past life you’ve caused someone else to suffer or witnessed someone else suffering and didn’t do anything to help and now you feel you must suffer in this lifetime to make up for that.  You hold the energy that you deserve to suffer.

A separate caveat to that is the belief that if I suffer — if I’m a victim — then I’m not hurting someone else.  I’m not a victimizer.  There is often a past life connection here too — this person wants so much to do no harm that he or she takes on the victim role instead.

When I do energy healings around this, I always work both sides of it — how does the client feel about suffering and not suffering, being a victim and not being a victim.  I check things like responsibility, blame, forgiveness issues, memories, karma, trauma . . .

I like what Stuart Wilde says in Life Wasn’t Meant to Be a Struggle (I’m paraphrasing) — there is a difference between effort and struggle.  Yes, life requires some effort — just like a tiger chasing and attacking its prey — but the natural order of things is not struggle.  The tiger doesn’t find the attack a struggle, something that drains her.  She expends the energy and receives the reward from it.

Sometimes we get a caught up in the struggle of it.  And, it can be tempting to hang out with other people who are struggling and talk about how bad things are.  (Ooh, that can be a major energetic sink-hole — one that’s tough to climb out of . . .)  Sometimes, out of compassion, we may join people in the sink-hole even if we don’t really feel that way ourselves.  Although that may feel noble at the time, in fact there’s most likely a guilt piece that could be healed — how do you feel about doing well when someone else is suffering?

The quote from Marianne Williamson that I posted the other day alluded to this as well — kind of from the opposite perspective.  It doesn’t help someone else if we hold back our light — in fact, by shining our light as brightly as we can, it gives other people permission to seek their own brightness.

Our angels absolutely want to help us with this issue.  They say that our truest nature is one of bliss and joy, not despair.  They surround us with love and comfort and try to draw us out of that place of suffering into a place of perspective where we can see our earthly circumstances for what they really are.

They’d love to help us step out of struggle and suffering and into motivated effort.  What do we need to do to move our lives forward?  They’ll help us figure that out if we’re willing to step out of the suffering.  It’s a big step for some people — that mud is pretty deep and it’s even seeped into the rubber boots you’re wearing, creating a vacuum that’s going to take some effort to break.

Remember, though, you’re not a victim of the mud or the rubber boots — honey, you stepped in there yourself.  Let go of the blame and the freak-out and just muster up the effort to step out — at least wiggle your foot, preparing for the step.  Keep wiggling until you can move your foot and step out onto the dry bank.  It’s not far.  Motivated effort gives you strength — victim struggling makes you weak.

Visualize stepping out.  Imagine what it would feel like to step out.  Think about what you would do if you weren’t suffering and stuck.  Start to bring those feelings and images close to you and move toward that future for yourself.

If someone near you is reinforcing your suffering, please stop listening to them and begin listening to the little voice inside that says, “Yes, you can step up and out of this mess!  Yes, you can!”

Yes, you can.  Clear horizons are out there and they can be for you.

When you have someone in your life who is one suffering the angels advise you to keep your light shining brightly.  The source of that light is God/Universal Source Energy/Love/Higher Self, so you don’t need to generate the energy to keep it burning.  But, it’s crucial to connect to the source through prayer and meditation — otherwise you can get drained and burned out.

Try to remain separate from that person’s drama and suffering mentality — and shower them and yourself with love.  Ask the angels to remove any cords and attachments with this person that causes a feeling of draining.  Of course, the connections of love never get severed, just those draining, enmeshed energy connections.

Remember the Truth that you are loved.  You’re never alone, even for a moment, in that muddy place — there’s always a helping hand stretched out to help give you balance and strength.

Blessings for a future that is just as you envision it to be!

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